King of the World
I surely wouldn't want to be, but—hypothetically—if I was unfortunate enough to get the job, I can guarantee I'd be the very least favorite King in all of history. Because I'd waste no time trying to fix entirely too much shit.
Right off the bat, it would mean the end of democracy. Wait, what? That's right. Democracy is a terminally faulty process. Humans have proven time and again they cannot be trusted with total freedom. People need to be treated like little children, and have common sense and respect for Nature drilled into their tiny fucking brains.
It would be the end of voting. The general public is utterly clueless with regards to the personnel and policies that govern their lives. Just look at the reasons people voted Trump into power: they're embarrassingly idiotic. By and large, people elect their leaders based on irrational opinions about the candidate, as opposed to qualifications for the job.
"Freedom" is a double-edged sword, and there's plenty of historical evidence that it can be destructive: look at what Trump has done to this country, and then ask how any rational person could have supported him. He and his supporters shall forevermore stand as definitive proof of the danger of democracy.
I would, of course, do my best to ensure that those in power do not abuse said power, but that cannot be guaranteed, so it might be an iterative process to find the right people.
Without doubt, most of the decisions I'd make would enrage everyone, but, well, too bad. My decisions would mean a great many people would be displaced or even die. Everyone dies anyway, and if 500 people must perish in order to save 5,000 others, then that's the price of our survival as a species. We've been breeding out of control, and that alone has doomed us.
Of course, I could just declare the end of the human race and save the planet, but it might be nicer if some of us could stick around. But our primary collective job would be to rescue Earth, no matter the cost. If we're still around after our course has been corrected, that's a bonus. If not, so much the better for Earth.
The process of saving the planet would involve considerable change and sacrifice. For example, all new development of any kind would be halted: no new housing, no new shopping centers, malls, factories, none, zip, zilch. Unfinished projects issues would be dismantled. And to that point, no land clearing would be permitted, of any kind, anywhere, for any purpose. Cut down a single tree, and face the death penalty. No exceptions. Developers would instead be tasked with demolishing all abandoned structures and replacing them with green spaces. All lands damaged or destroyed by deforestation and such would undergo reforestation.
All wild animals would be considered endangered. Poachers would be shot on sight.
Extremely strict global air and water pollution standards would be enacted, with aggressive reduction targets updated continuously. Violators would bear the full cost of correction and reparation.
Water usage would be severely curtailed and rationed (no more lawn watering, car washing, etc.).
All energy sources (electricity, gasoline, oil, gas, etc.) would be rationed. Fossil fuels to be phased out.
NASA would be repurposed solely for the study of environmental issues and remediation.
Strict laws would be put in place to prohibit procreation without a license, said license only obtainable after passing a battery of childrearing competency tests. Also, no more than one child per couple. Violators would face sterilization. Furthermore, all fertility clinics would all be converted into adoption agencies.
Individual income caps would be put in place, with excess capital from the wealthy used for humanitarian aid.
Caps would be placed on profits earned by the entertainment and travel industries.
Private gun ownership would be banned. Period. No discussion.
All weapons of mass destruction would be immediately seized and destroyed.
Smoking would be banned everywhere, along with the manufacturing of any tobacco products. Savings enjoyed by the healthcare industry would be applied to the goal of universal healthcare.
Sound Draconian? I'm just getting started! We have royally fucked the planet, and we need to tackle the problem on multiple fronts immediately and simultaneously.
Count yourself lucky I'll never be King.