British Slang Terms
While this is hardly exhaustively complete, it does nevertheless present a great many slang terms with which Stateside folk may not be familiar.
Ag (sometimes "aggro"): an abbreviation of "aggravation", as in "don't give me no ag" (employing the common London double negative).
All fur coat and no knickers: implies someone, especially a woman, is all ostentatious show without any class. Knickers is the UK equivalent of "panties". In use, "she's all fur coat and no knickers".
All mouth and trousers: implies someone is boastful without substance.
All unusual: to come over "all unusual" is to feel strange, drunk, or emotional.
An'all: This one's Yorkshire slang for "and all" or "as well", as in "an' you can watch what you say an' all" ("and you should be careful what you say, as well").
Anorak: Literally a hooded, sometimes quilted, winter coat, but in slang use it's a nerd, or someone obsessed with an unsporting hobby like trainspotting, where people hang about on railway station platforms recording the types of locomotive passing through—sometimes carried out in cold weather when such a person might wear the said garment.
Arse about face: the wrong way round.
Arse over tip: Sometimes "arse over tit". A heavy fall that might or might not involve a somersault. More politely described as "base over apex", as in "Gerry slipped and went base over apex down the stairs".
Arseholing: fawning to curry favour (mainly northern)
As right as ninepence: absolutely satisfactory.
Bang to rights: fairly and squarely, as in "we caught you bang to rights, thief".
Banged up: to be in prison.
Banging: sex.
Banter: exuberant conversation often involving "leg-pulling", "ragging" etc. Not quite the same as US "roasting", but not altogether unrelated.
Battenburg: a police car with a chequered livery, resembling the pattern of the said baked comestible. Recent historical liveries also gained the nicknames candy car, and jam (US jelly) sandwich for similar reasons. All were unofficial nomenclature. Panda cars were so named because of their livery, too, though they were blue-and-white and not black-and-white, and the term was an officially adopted one.
Big E: to be expelled or "sent packing" as in "Janet gave her boyfriend the big E".
Bish Bosh: a shorthand term for how quickly or easily something can be accomplished. In use, "We can paint those two walls, bish bosh, job done".
Bit useful: to be handy in a fight, as in "Todd's a bit useful".
Black Mariah: an obsolete term for a black police van for the conveyance of prisoners, also called a "paddy wagon" in Liverpool, where both police and criminals might possibly be of Irish origin or descent. Replaced more recently by white vehicles often run by private companies.
Blag: a heist or robbery.
(Giving a) blank: to ignore someone, as in "Jeff's giving you a blank 'cause you offended him".
Bloke: a man.
Blower: a phone/telephone, as in "get on the blower, you need to talk to the guv'nor".
Blue Circle overcoat: Blue Circle is a company specialising in cement products. This phrase shares the meaning of "concrete/cement galoshes", ie the drowning of someone with the aid of a concrete weight of some kind.
Blues and twos: police activating their lights and (often two-tone) sirens.
Bodge: a quick and dirty fix/a lazily or incompetently executed task, as in "that builder really bodged the construction of our porch" or "my mechanic made a right bodge job of rebuilding this engine". One who bodges is a bodger.
Bog: from the word denoting a marshy place. A term used in slang to denote a latrine. In use, Q "where's Bill?" A "he's nipped off to the bog". It is also used in the relatively mild remonstrative dismissal "bog off", an invitation to leave forthwith. Amusingly, the expression is additionally now used in retail circumstances to describe a particular kind of sales offer: BOGOF, or buy one, get one free.
Bollocks: cojones or testes.
(A) bollocking: a serious dressing down or telling off. "GBH of the earhole".
Bonking: sex.
Brass: a prostitute (from "brass rail" = tail). Also see "Tom".
Brief: a solicitor (US lawyer). I don't know whether it additionally refers to barristers (not to be confused with baristas).
Brum: shorthand for "Birmingham", England's second city.
Brummy: an inhabitant of Birmingham.
Bugle: arse (ass). Understandable, as a slang word in Britain for a fart is "trump", and a trump (historically) is (unsurprisingly) a trumpet's blast, as in "the last trump" sounded at the end of the world.
Bung: a bribe, as in "Frank gave the Old Bill (the police) a bung", although it is often used more innocently in phrases like "bung (give) me a fiver (£5) and I'll mow your lawn".
(A) bunch of five(s): a fist applied in violence, or used in the threat thereof. In use "do you want a bunch of five?"
The Business: That which is excellent or exactly what's required, as in "Bill's workmanship is the business".
Buzzing: excitedly active or actively excited (fairly modern, rather than traditional slang).
Can't be arsed: can't be bothered, uninvolved.
Cards: outdated expression for employment documents. Still often used in a phrase like "John's been given his cards" (ie fired).
Case: to be "living case" is to be "living over the brush", or cohabiting with one's partner out of wedlock.
Case the joint: to reconnoitre a dwelling or other premises.
Cash on the hip: to be carrying some money on one's person.
The cat's pyjamas: that which is excellent.
Century: £100.
Char: tea, or an abbreviation of "charwoman", or tea lady, one who serves tea to workers (in a factory setting, for example). May derive from a Chinese name for spiced tea, "tcha" and later derivatives as the growing of tea spread across Asia, the Middle East and India, from whence comes the Indian "chai". Also see "cuppa".
Chav: an ignorant, unsophisticated (sometimes aggressive) individual, often existing in a deprived or borderline criminal environment. Relatively modern coinage.
Chin him: give him a sock on the jaw.
Chippy: either a fish and chip shop/restaurant, or to have a chip on one's shoulder (to be easily provoked by particular issues), as in "Don't take the mickey out of Gordon for being Scottish—he's a bit chippy about it".
Choked: upset. To be very upset is to be "well choked".
Chocker (or chocka): absolutely full, as in "we tried to get into the pub, but it was Chocker". Derived from the longer "chock-a-block". A similar expression is "rammed", as in "it's no use trying to drive to Cornwall at this time of year, the county's absolutely rammed".
Chokey: prison.
Chubb-up: to lock/unlock a door. The expression is based on the name of the lock manufacturer Chubb.
Chucking (it) down: raining heavily. Also "tipping (it) down", "bucketing down", "p*ssing (it) down" and "stair rods".
Chuddies: one of many words acquired from the British "association" with the Indian sub-continent. Bungalow, cot, pyjamas, juggernaut, veranda, guru, and others are all in mainstream use. Chuddies entered the English lexicon via a TV sketch show in the 1990s, written and performed by players with a sub-continental background (a prime mover was renowned actor/writer Sanjeev Bhaskar). "Chuddies" are a species of short trousers, but the term has come to mean underpants. The TV show's use of the expression "kiss my chuddies" is equivalent to Bart Simpson's "eat my shorts".
Claret: blood. Quite an old usage. To be found in 19th Century expressions like "tapping the claret"—to punch someone in the nose, inducing epistaxis.
Clobber: possessions/accoutrements/lumber/junk (also clothes, but not as outmoded as "togs"). In use, "pack your clobber and get out".
Clock: to notice, or to see, as in "have you clocked the 'geezer' in the corner?".
Cock a deaf un': to cock a deaf one (an ear), to pretend not to hear.
(A right) cock-up: a large error, or the mess made by such an error.
Collared: caught.
Collar felt: to have one's "collar felt" is to be arrested. Imagine an officer grabbing a villain by the back of his neck.
College: prison.
(To) come a cropper: To be in an accident often involving personal injury, as in "Ted came a cropper and fell off his bike" (more northern than southern use in England).
Conversing with the plumber: going to the bathroom.
Cop an earner: to land an opportunity to make money.
Cough: either to confess or to "spill the beans" on someone else. Also used in the sense of rendering payment—as in "you still owe me a fiver, it's time you coughed up".
Cozzer: yet another term for a police officer. Possibly derived from merging "copper" with "rozzer".
Crack of sparrows: combines two expressions for an extremely early time of day—1) the crack of dawn, and 2) "Sparrow's fart".
Craic (or "crack"): borrowed from the Irish, meaning a rollocking good time.
Crack on: an exhortation to carry on with what you're doing with a suggestion of haste.
Croak: to die, as in "old Evans has croaked at last". Can be used transitively as well as intransitively, as in "did you croak the geezer?"
Crumpet: either an attractive young woman (derogatory), or a reference to sex (also derogatory as it leans on the earlier definition).
Cuppa: an abbreviation, usually for "a cup of tea" (cup o' tea).
Cushti: copacetic (from a Romany origin).
D & D: the offence of being drunk and disorderly.
Daft: stupid or foolish—but it's a word often used more softly and affectionately by parents to their children, or between intimates. In use, Clive: "I love you, Barbara" Barbara: "don't talk so daft, Clive".
Dench: more modern slang, meaning "excellent". Said to derive from the name of Brit actor Judi Dench. In use, "That meal was proper Dench".
Detained at her majesty's pleasure: to be imprisoned. Like "sent down", it derives from a legal/courtroom expression.
Diamond geezer: someone who can be relied upon. See "geezer", below.
Doddle: a "cake walk" or easily achieved objective.
The Dog's (bollocks): That which is excellent. It may derive from "it stands out like a dog's bollocks". In use, "That new paint job on Jeff's car is the dog's".
Dog's dinner: a mess.
Doing the necessary: to undertake what's required, as in "that pipe's leaking again. We'll have to do the necessary (and fix it)".
Dollop: literally a soft lump of a semi-solid substance, often used as an insult, as in "you spineless old dollop".
Done up like a kipper: to be made a fool of, exploited, "framed", or to be unknowingly manipulated to act in a way contrary to one's best interests.
Don't get all Snow White: "stop being so precious".
Don't get lemon: don't get excited/noisy/aggressive.
Don't get out (of) your pram/Don't throw your toys out (of) the pram: don't be childishly annoyed. "Pram" is the common British abbreviation for a perambulator, an out of fashion conveyance for infants, now replaced by buggies (US strollers).
(Go and) do one: essentially, "f*ck off".
Dosh: money.
Dotted (or marked) card: a warning to someone including information of which they were unaware, and which might affect the way they intended to act.
Do what?: a term of surprise at a previously voiced outrageous statement or proposition, as in Q; "Will you fulfil this project for half your quoted fee?" R; "do WHAT?!". It's not always as contextually coherent as that.
Drag: a "blag" or theft.
Drinker: a public house or pub.
Drum: a house/home.
Drummer: a burglar.
Earholing: Eavesdropping, derived from "ear hole".
Elbow: a verb meaning to reject someone or something, or to get rid of it, as in "my girlfriend is giving me ag (see above) so I'm giving her the elbow", or "I'm elbowing her". Very like the actors' paper, Variety, using the term "ankle".
Eyes down: an exhortation, in general parlance, to pay attention. It is originally derived from a common expression at the start of a game of bingo (otherwise known as tombola or housey-housey). There is a well-known code or use of expressions associated with the game (familiar even amongst Brits who don't play it) which would require a short glossary of its own.
Fancy: verb (not adjective) to describe appreciation or favour, especially of a person's attraction, as in "I fancy Sue" or, negatively, as "I don't fancy your chances with her". Other applications might include "I fancy that horse in the Grand National next week" (ie I think the horse will do well).
Factory: a police station.
Faff: a verb to describe pointless activity that doesn't achieve any goal, used in expressions like "stop faffing about and get the job done".
Fag (or fags): cigarette (or cigarettes). NB not used in the derogatory American sense of the expression. In the exclusive English public (ie private) school system, a "fag" is also the appellation applied to students in the lower school who are expected to act as servants to the students of the upper school. By the way, in England the term "faggot" refers to either a bundle of sticks used for kindling or a type of meatball. Neither is a slang expression.
Falling down juice/water: alcoholic beverage, especially spirits.
Fanny: in the US, as a noun, this means an arse (US ass). In Britain, as a noun, it describes a more intimate part of female anatomy. As a slang British verb, it is similar in use to Faff, as in "don't fanny around. Just get the job done". The verb form probably derives from the US usage as one might also hear "stop arsing about and get the job done".
(I can) feel it in my water: to have a strong instinct about someone or something.
Fettle: to clean, maintain or to tidy. Originally from the process of fettling metal castings, especially removing flash (where metal has seeped and solidified outside the form leaving excess metal to be removed).
Firm: a criminal gang.
Flog: to sell, as in "Brian flogged me his motor (car)".
Form: previous convictions.
Fluff: as a verb, to break wind; as a noun, a fart.
(To) fly off the handle: to dramatically lose one's temper (also expressed as "losing one's rag").
Folding: banknotes, as in "are you holding folding?"
(my) gaffe: (my) home, or "drum".
Gawd: Ubiquitous East London pronunciation of "god", which might explain "Gordon Bennett".
GBH of the ear(s): GBH is the common abbreviation of the crime "grievous bodily harm". GBH of the ears is a "dressing down" or a "telling off", a reprimand, though it often refers to nagging from the "trouble and strife".
Geezer: a man/"bloke"/"face". Unlike the US usage, "geezer" doesn't necessarily describe an elderly man unless preceded by the word "old".
Getting someone at it: deliberately annoying someone.
Geordie: an inhabitant of the north-eastern city of Newcastle (not a Star Trek character).
Give his drum a spin: turn over/search the premises of his home.
Give me a tug: alert me when appropriate (not what you thought, eh?).
Give us a bell: call me on the telephone.
Giving the needle: to needle/irritate someone, as in "don't give him the needle, he'll chin you".
Gob: mouth. Usually more northern than southern in use, it is derived from an Irish word for a beak. It is in more widespread British use in the form of the entry immediately below.
Gobsmacked: to be extremely surprised, as though unexpectedly "smacked in the gob" (hit in the mouth).
Gordon Bennett!: A term of surprise derived from the name of the controversial former publisher of the New York Times. Though I've never heard an American exclaim this, it was in common use in the UK (mainly London) throughout the Twentieth Century. I suspect it was a way for those sensitive to Christian commandments to avoid taking the name of the deity in vain, much as "jeepers!" avoids using the Christian redeemer's name.
Grass: an informer or "nark".
Guest of her majesty: a prisoner.
Gutted: to be demoralised or made inconsolable by circumstances, as in "our team lost the championship game on Saturday, and I'm gutted".
Happy as a pig in shit: to be in one's most enjoyable element/environment or circumstances.
Hard earned: money, as in "don't spend all your 'hard earned' on Saturday night".
Hat Trick: Used to describe the scoring of three goals by one player in a single game of football (US soccer). It carries the suggestion of a surprise exhibition of skill or a magical achievement. In wider use, it has come to mean other triple achievements or, ironically, three catastrophic errors.
Have it away on your toes: to run away (but to simply" have it away" is to have sex. There's no connection between the two).
Her indoors: (often 'er indoors), one's wife. It might now be considered derogatory.
His Nibs: an ironic term for someone who's convinced of their own importance.
HM hotel: a prison (His Majesty's hotel).
Hoister: a thief.
Holding folding: to be carrying some money on one's person.
Honest collar: work.
(A bit of) how's yer (your) father: sex.
Hump: to "get the hump" is to be disgruntled or sulky. Also (unrelated), as a verb, to hump is to have sex. In addition, the word is also slang for carrying, as in "I've humped this suitcase all over town".
Iffy: uncertain (especially of legitimacy).
In my/your/his/her bin: see "in his/her/your/my poke".
In my/your/his/her poke: in his/her/your/my bag (originally from Northern or Scots dialect), but now more often refers to one's pocket, as in "if you do this, I'll put a pony in your poke" ("pony" is London slang for £25).
Jack the lad: a wide boy, show off or smart arse usually sailing close to the wind, legally speaking.
Jammy: lucky. It might imply that luck (like jam) sticks to the subject, or that s/he's landed in sweetness. I dunno.
Jelly (US jello): gelignite, the explosive.
John Law: the police.
A jump: sex.
Khazi: toilet. There are various accepted spellings. It's a corruption of the Italian, "casa", or house.
Kip: sleep. In use, "he's gone to kip", I've been working twelve-hour shifts. I really need a/some kip".
Kipper: face. I don't know the derivation. Also mug, mush, clock, dial, map, puss and—rhyming slang—boat (race).
Knackered: broken beyond repair, worn out, exhausted. Derived from the name for someone who slaughtered ancient, diseased, or injured horses that could not be put to work and who then rendered them into usable products. A knacker's place of operation was the knacker's yard, now used in phrases like "he's passed his best as a sportsman, and only fit for the knacker's yard".
Knackers: cojones or testes.
Knickers: underpants, especially women's "panties".
(To have one's) knickers in a twist: to be in a panic or excitable state because of provoking circumstances. In use, "don't get your knickers in a twist, I'll soon have this fixed".
Knock out: to sell, as in "Kev knocked out ten cases of that plonk (cheap wine) before the guy he sold it to realised it wasn't kosher (Yiddish term which in general parlance has come to mean "the real thing").
The knowledge: the full understanding of London geography, required for a cab driver to obtain his permit/license to carry passengers.
Lagging: a prison sentence, derived from "lag", a prisoner.
(Take a) leak: to urinate.
Leave it out: an exhortation to stop irritating behaviour.
Leg it: run away. See "do a runner", or "scarper". The Brit equivalent of "take it on the lam" or "let's beat it".
Leg over: sex, as in "Colin got his leg over (with) that new secretary last night".
Leg-pulling: to tease or mildly antagonise for the sake of humour.
Legit: legitimate/ not crooked.
Let the dog see the rabbit: remove extraneous chatter or any other encumbrance to allow the real situation to be determined.
Lift: steal.
Long in the boat: the facial appearance of being disappointed, "boat race" being rhyming slang for face.
Loose tailboard enterprise: a "business" that "liberates" (ie steals) goods from someone else's vehicle to fence or sell to the general population for a low price.
Lumbered: encumbered.
Lying doggo: keeping a low profile, avoiding notice. In use, "best to lie doggo until the heat dies down".
Manor: either the locale served by a police station, or one's home turf.
The Met: the Metropolitan police Service.
Mint: Excellent (more modern slang), but...
Minted: to be well off, to possess plenty of money.
Mitts: hands, presumably deriving from a similar source to "mittens".
Moby (Dick): jail or "nick". See below.
Mockers: also "kibosh", a spoiler, or putting an end to an idea or enterprise, as in "well, that's put the mockers/kibosh on that".
Moody: "dodgy" or someone/something of uncertain provenance. Equivalent to US "sketchy" (which in Britain tends only to mean "vague"), as in "Keith sold me a wristwatch in the pub last night. My mate thinks it's a bit moody".
More front than Selfridges: to have plenty of chutzpah. Selfidges is a famous department store with an especially long frontage on London's Oxford Street.
Motor: a car (US automobile).
Mouse: a moustache.
Muckers: friends, people who "muck in" with one another, ie share the metaphorical dirt or inconvenience of circumstances.
Mug (up): to learn or study.
Muggins: a fool, often a term used when describing one's own foolishness, as in "Yeah, leave it to muggins to do all the work".
Mush: literally and metaphorically slang for a face. "Face" is sometimes used to denote a known criminal, or just a person. See "bloke" and "geezer", above. Used in expressions like "I smacked him in the mush" or the warning "watch it, mush".
Naff: of poor quality or aesthetics, as in "that shirt looks really naff". Made popular in the sitcom Porridge, "naff" became widely used as an adjective, as in the example given. In the same show, "Naff off" became an acceptable euphemism for "f*ck off" and "Naffing" a euphemism for "f*cking", as in "get out of my naffing way". Another coinage originated in Polari, a slang often used by the gay community when British social attitudes were less accepting: NAFF being an acronym for "not available for f*cking".
Nark: an informer or "grass".
(A) nice drink: meant either literally or as metaphor for a financial reward, eg in exchange for a favour. "If you help Pete move his furniture, there'll be a nice drink in it for you" or "If Mike does that work for you he'll expect a nice drink".
Nice little earner: an enterprise that might bring a (sometimes unexpected) financial reward, as in "that could be a nice little earner".
Nick: steal.
The nick: specifically the jail/gaol in police stations, but also a police station or a prison.
Nicked: to be arrested.
Nip off: to leave a situation briefly or quickly. In use "I nipped off to buy a packet of fags".
Nippy: cold, in reference to the weather.
Nonce: a child molester.
Nosh: food.
Not all that: the object of discussion is not as good as one might expect or hope, as in "Ben's car's only an old rust-trap Moggy Minor. It not all that", (a Moggy [Morris] Minor was a car produced by manufacturer Morris, part of the British Motor Corporation, from the late 1940s to the early 1970s. The estate car version with wooden framing was ironically referred to as "half timbered", a phrase used to describe a just-post-medieval style of timber-framed architecture—somewhat appropriate as the Moggy Minor looked very old fashioned, even in the 1960s).
(To) not give a monkey's: to not care. I'm unsure of the derivation. In use, "I don't give a monkey's whether he's from Essex or Surrey, he's nothing special".
Not holding:the situation of having no cash on one's person.
Not knowing one's arse from one's elbow: to be clueless, as in "he doesn't know his arse from his elbow".
Not many!: an exclamation of full agreement, as in "Do you fancy her?" "Not many!".
Nowt: Nothing, derived from "nought" or "naught". Almost exclusively a northern expression. In use, "there's nowt so queer as folk" (there's nothing so strange as people).
On the game: to indulge in prostitution for a living.
On the hurry up: to be done/completed in haste. In use, "he needs to get that work finished on the hurry up".
On the lash (or "on the piss"): to be on a drunken spree.
On the slate: to obtain goods, usually alcoholic drinks, on the good will of the seller, to be paid for later. The term is derived from a literal use of a slate to write down the debt, to be erased on payment, as in "put it on the slate, barman".
On the up and up: a description of either improving circumstances or confirmation of the veracity of information being delivered, as in "You can stand on Roy. What he says is on the up and up".
On yer (your) bike: get lost, go away.
On your arches: "let's go"/prepare to leave quickly.
One of ours: someone like us (ie often something of a wheeler-dealer on less than good terms with the law). Not as strictly applied as the American Mafia's "a friend of ours".
Pants: description of something of dire quality, as in "the team's performance was totally pants" (relatively modern use). Originally, "pants" in the UK referred to "underpants", or briefs. The American use of the word "pants" is equivalent to "trousers" in the UK. "Trousers" seems to be an inherently amusing word, which is presumably why it's included in the title of award-winning, stop-motion animation by Nick Park, The Wrong Trousers. However, there is a feature in the parody of traditional British comics (US comic books), Viz, titled Johnny Fart Pants.
Parky: cold, with reference to weather rather than personality. It's also the nickname of Britain's former and foremost TV host/interviewer, Michael Parkinson.
Paw patrol: Police dog handlers and their canine colleagues.
Perp: perpetrator.
(A) pig's ear: a confounded mess. In use, "Kevin's made a pig's ear of that analysis".
Pillock: an insult derived from a Medieval word for a penis.
Pinched: arrested (but also stolen).
Piss poor: feeble, not up to standard.
Playing away: derived from the expression in sport that denotes a particular team is playing in a fixture at the home ground of their opponent, not "at home". In slang use the expression is used to describe sexual infidelity.
Plonker: a fool (also a male generative organ).
Pointing Percy at the porcelain: to urinate.
Pokey: prison
Pop: 1) a descriptor of the brevity of a task or journey, as in "I'm just going to pop to the shops", 2) a carbonated soft drink (US soda), 3) a verb meaning "to pawn", in use "I need some ready cash. I'll have to pop my kettle".
(To) pop one's clogs: to fall off the twig, kark it, expire or otherwise die.
Porridge: a prison sentence.
Potless: to be "brassic", "skint" or without financial resource. Derives from the phrase "doesn't have a pot to p*ss in".
Pull: arrest or detain (but also to have gained the attention of a member of the opposite sex, as in "not now, mate, I think I've pulled").
(To) Pull one's finger out: ...of one's arse, an admonishment to focus and proceed with the job at hand, as in "don't take all day with that oil change. Pull your naffing finger out".
Punter: usually a gambling term for those placing regular bets, "punter" might also mean a customer.
(Nice bit of) purse: either a welcome amount of money or an opinion of a female (equivalent of US p*ssy).
Put an ear on their phone: bug the telephone.
Put me up to the Plod: to grass or inform on me to the police.
Put the arm on him: put him under (usually physical) duress.
Put the hand on him: to ask for an advance, a loan or a handout from him.
Putting the tin lid on it: any negative finishing touch to a disadvantageous situation, as in "my car was damaged in a crash on the way to work, so I was late, so the boss gave me GBH of the earhole, then—to put the tin lid on it—I lost my wallet".
Ragging: see "leg-pulling".
Rammed: full to bursting, often referring to how busy a particular venue might be.
Readies: money. Cash ready in one's pocket or hand.
Result: often used to describe a good outcome, as in Some berk took that broken down car off my hands. Bit of a result.
Ricket: I'm not sure about this one, but one definition is that a ricket is a "mistake", another meaning is "outstandingly praiseworthy".
A right Mons: to have made a huge mistake or to have made a huge mess, as in "you made a right mons of respraying that car". Possibly—possibly—derived from the term describing a particular part of the female anatomy.
A right one: a foolish or incompetent person.
River filth: river (often the river Thames) Police.
Rogering: sex.
Roller: Rolls Royce car.
Ruck: not a Star Trek reference, but a physical fight.
Rumpy-pumpy: sex.
San Fairy Ann (and slight variants): dating from WWI, this is an Anglicisation of the French "ça ne fait rien", meaning "it doesn't matter". It also migrated to a valedictory remark, eg to a (usually unpopular) person—Will: "old Tom's left the company", Jed: "I couldn't stand him. San Fairy Ann", or of a lost possession—"I was fond of that cigarette case, but San Fairy Ann".
(A) sandwich short of a picnic: a phrase applied to a slow or dim-witted person. Also expressed as "not the full shilling" or "not the sharpest tool in the shed (or sharpest knife in the block)".
Sarny: a sandwich, a snack that encloses various edible contents between two slices of bread, also known as a butty in Liverpool (though it has also gained nationwide use over time).
Scarper: from "Scapa Flow", to go/"do a runner"/"leg it".
Schmutter: adopted Yiddish term for clothing, as in "that's a nice bit of schmutter" when admiring a pal's new suit.
Schtum: widely adopted Jewish word for silence, as in "keep schtum"/say nothing.
Scouse (or Scouser): an inhabitant of the city of Liverpool. Without the "R", it also denotes the accent/dialect of the city.
Screech: throat.
Scooby (-Doo): a clue, usually used in phrases like "he doesn't have a Scooby what's going on".
The Scrubs: Wormwood Scrubs, a London prison.
(To) see a man about a dog: usually used by a person leaving a social group to attend to other undisclosed business, often (but not always) a euphemism for going to the bathroom. In use, "I'm just off to see a man about a dog".
Shampoo: champaign.
(For) shits and giggles: for the hell of it.
Shooter: a gun, a pistol.
Shtuck (or schtuck): trouble, as in "we're in proper/right/dead schtuck, now!"
(A) sight for sore eyes: a positively or negatively impressive appearance.
Skint: having no money. Derives from the word "skinned", implying that the subject has lost everything, including their skin.
Slag: a general term for a contemptible individual. The lowest of the low. Often applied to particularly violent or depraved criminals (but it's also a politically incorrect term for a woman of exceptionally loose morals).
Slagged off: to be criticised, as in "she was always slagging him off".
Slap and tickle: sex.
Smarmy: an unpleasant, oleaginous, and untrustworthy manner. In use, "don't believe what that smarmy creep says".
Smudges: photographs.
Snog: as a verb, to kiss passionately; as a noun a passionate kiss.
SOCO: Scene of Crime Officer, a police officer or team that collects and catalogues evidence at the scene of a crime.
Sort: a young woman (derogatory).
Sovs: pounds sterling. Derived from "sovereigns", gold coins, now usually minted for investors. "That job Arthur wants you to do could put fifty sovs in your sky (rocket)".
SP: information. I'm unsure of the derivation, but I think it might be military in origin.
Spin his gaffe: search his home or business premises.
Spiv: a black marketeer.
(To) splash one's boots: to take a pee. Less obviously descriptive, one can alternately "wring one's sock out" or "shake hands with the unemployed". Most politely, one can "spend a penny" (access to British public conveniences, until the decimalisation of the monetary system, cost one pre-decimal penny). More directly, one has gone "for a slash".
Squire: a usually friendly appellation, as in "good morning, squire" but can be less so, as in "knock it off/turn it in, squire" (stop your annoying behaviour or face the consequences).
Stand on me: an exhortation to trust the speaker.
Stand up: a fight.
Stir: a prison sentence.
Stitched up: see "done up like a kipper", to be exploited, gulled, or left holding the baby.
Straightened: fixed, set right.
Stripe me/us/you/them up: to have put me/us/you/them in an extremely difficult situation, or to disadvantage ("stripe me" is also an exclamation of surprise).
Stitch-up: a frame-up or fit-up. See earlier "done up like a kipper".
Sticky wicket: A cricketing term describing the difficult playing surface of the wicket or pitch. In slang it refers to circumstances that might prevent a successful outcome or encourage an unsuccessful one, as in "you're on a sticky wicket there, pal. All the evidence points at you".
Straight down the porcelain: down the can/shitter. An expression of an endeavour going wrong.
Stuffed: 1) more than replete after dining, 2) Knackered, broken or otherwise unusable, 3) f*cked (this sense often used in Australia).
A super: a police superintendent.
Suss (out): check out/investigate.
Sweeney (Todd): the Flying Squad, a swift-response division of the Metropolitan Police specialising in large-scale and violent robbery.
Sweet Fanny Adams: nothing, zilch, nada, nowt. Also expressed as "sweet FA", both being euphemisms for "f*ck all", as in "I worked all weekend and was paid sweet Fanny Adams".
Taking the Mickey: to make fun of somebody, or to ridicule them. Also expressed as "extracting the Michael" or "taking the piss" ("Mickey" is thought by some to be an abbreviation of "micturition", the act of urination). In use, "are you taking the mickey?" (are you mocking me?).
Tap: to cadge or solicit a loan from an acquaintance.
Tasty: This is applied in many contexts, one of which is to describe someone who's good in a fight, as in "that Tyson Fury's a bit tasty". A "tasty" mob would be a criminal gang who know how to handle themselves.
Tea leaf: a thief.
Ten stretch: a ten-year prison sentence.
Tickle: see "nice little earner".
Togs: clothes. Outdated and seldom used by anyone under 60 years old.
Tool: a fool or a clumsy or incompetent person, or a male generative organ.
Top man: an exclamation used to describe a man who has just succeeded beyond expectation or has been unexpectedly generous, as in "Bob's just bought a round (of drinks)! Top man!"
Tom: (1) a prostitute. (2) An abbreviation of "Tom and Dick", to feel or be sick. "Uncle" has the same meaning, deriving from "Uncle Dick".
(A) ton: one hundred pounds, as in "a ton in the hand". Also slang, in the 1950s and 1960s, for 100 mph, especially in reference to motorcycling. Youngsters seeking thrills would try to attain this speed or higher, especially on the newly opened motorways. They were known as ton-up boys.
Tooled up: to be armed, or to "come heavy" as they used to say in The Sopranos.
Trombone: telephone.
Trumpet: telephone.
Tumbled: to have been found out. Sometimes expressed as "rumbled", as in "Roger's wife has tumbled his infidelity" or "He's been rumbled".
(A) two-er: Not sure if this designates twenty pounds or two hundred pounds (a once-er would be half of that).
Up the duff: to be pregnant (duff is an English term for a kind of pudding). Another term with a similar meaning is to be in the "pudding club".
VAT: strictly speaking, Value Added Tax (a British purchase tax), but also Vodka and Tonic.
W: an extreme abbreviation for a search warrant.
Waffle: incoherent, pointless, or boring speech, as in "stop waffling on".
Wally: a fool.
Webbed up: nothing to do with Spider-Man. To be metaphorically entangled, also to be married.
Wedge: cash in notes.
Whatsit/whassname: contractions of "what's it" and "what's its/his/her name", "filler" expressions for a memory lapse when in conversation. In use "I'll never forget whassname".
Who threw you a biscuit?: "who invited you to join in/put in your six penn'orth?"
(Got the) wind up: to be scared (wind pronounced as the meteorological phenomenon). In use, "Charlie doesn't like flying. He gets the wind up".
(Put the) wind up: to scare somebody else. As used in an old and corny joke: "Commando Carruthers was parachuted into Nazi Germany with a length of rubber tubing and a bag of radishes. The idea was to put the wind up Hitler".
Wind-up: a deliberate attempt to confuse, annoy or otherwise agitate someone. In use, "are you winding me up?" or "What a wind-up!", derived from the action of winding up a clockwork toy into action.
Windy: scared, as in "it's no good asking Simon to climb up there. He's windy".
Witch water (or witch piss): an unappealingly weak drink, be it tea or beer.
(A) wrong un': a wrong one, a bad person.
Yob (or yobbo): a lout. Possibly back slang from "boy".