Spider-Man

2002, Marvel Enterprises et al

Although director Sam Raimi demonstrated confident proficiency at weaving a solid action film, Tobey Maguire just didn't cut it for me; he seemed too old and too... well... odd. Likewise Kirsten Dunst was too adult to pass as a highschooler. But they both had the acting chops to deliver earnest performances, so if one pretended they were college students instead, it worked a little better. At any rate, Spider-Man proved to be reasonably successful, critically and financially, and more than adequately entertaining.

DKS 12/17/17

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

Almost Nice

 

Spider-Man 2

2004, Marvel Enterprises et al

Sam Raimi's sequel demonstrated that he knew what he was doing, and continued applying his skills to good effect. The story presents a conflicted Peter Parker, who sheds his spider suit as he does considerable soul-searching. Unfortunately, this introspection is nearly drowned out by a needlessly overcomplicated antagonist plot that hinges on a surfeit of sci-fi mumbo-jumbo. While the film proved to be an even bigger hit than its predecessor, I felt as though it was just sort of running in place, saddled with the same skilled but miscast lead actors. Entertaining, no question, just not wildly so.

DKS 12/17/17

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

Almost Nice

 

Spider-Man 3

2007, Marvel Enterprises et al

The same team reassembled to make what they surely must have felt would be another hit. Unfortunately, the writers spoiled the winning streak by overloading the story with no less than three villains plus a good-spider/evil-spider subplot. The result was a nearly incoherent mess full of uninspired action and little to nothing in the way of humor or heart to sustain our emotional interest in the hero. Although it made plenty at the box office, it took a critical pounding, which ended plans for Spider-Man 4.

DKS 12/17/17

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

SBD

 

The Amazing Spider-Man

2012, Marvel Enterprises et al

With no acceptable script forthcoming, Sam Raimi exited the franchise, and the studio elected to reboot it. While that may have seemed like an idea from the Department of Redundancy Department, it actually worked sorta OK. The biggest improvement was Andrew Garfield, a pitch-perfect Peter Parker. Emma Stone, while still a bit adult for her role, was likewise an improvement over Kirsten Dunst, and Stone's real-life relationship with Garfield yielded a palpable onscreen chemistry. While not as tightly constructed as previous efforts, the exuberant performances made up for the film's shortcomings, resulting an enjoyable film.

DKS 12/17/17

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

Almost Nice

 

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

2014, Marvel Enterprises et al

Despite a trio of villains and loads of hectic action threatening to suffocate the life out of the film, director Marc Webb managed to juggle a surfeit of plot threads and still maintain a human heartbeat. However, its (surprisingly) poor reception doomed two planned sequels and multiple spin-offs, which is a shame, since—as per usual—I buck popular trends and consider this to be the very best entry in the franchise. Oh, and it has the best music score by far. Thank you, Hans Zimmer!

DKS 12/17/17

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

Smells Like Roses!

 

Spider-Man: Homecoming

2017, Marvel Studios et al

With a dead franchise and rights ownership at risk, Marvel and Sony took up arms over the property, eventually reaching an accord after some bitter feuds. The plan was to ease Spider-Man back onto the screen via a cameo of sorts in Marvel's Captain America: Civil War. Then, for the first stand-alone Spider-Man feature, the studio wisely chose to dispense with yet another origin story and instead just cut to the chase. Another sound decision was to include Tony Stark/Iron Man as a kind of father figure to provide more solid footing for Tom Holland's solo run. And Michael Keaton delivers a masterful turn as the villain. Still, as good as it was, I miss Andrew Garfield...

DKS 12/17/17

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

Almost Nice

 

Spider-Man: Far From Home

2019, Marvel Studios et al

After earning $880 million, Homecoming proved the franchise was more than able to sustain a sequel. Amazingly, Far From Home earned over a billion, despite being disappointingly immature and tedious—I spent much of the time rolling my eyes, and nearly nodded off on occasion. Holland was his usual hyper-ADD self, Gyllenhaal was about as exciting as leftover plain pasta, and Jackson phoned in his performance from the golf course. The only thing that made the two hours and nine minutes worthwhile was the "let's drive Peter mad" sequence, which was a visual tour de force, although it's nearly lost in the noise of perpetual, over-the-top effects. Random thought: it is mildly intriguing that the three lead cast members, all in their twenties, so effectively play teenagers.

DKS 2/20/22

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

SBD

 

Spider-Man: No Way Home

2019, Marvel Studios et al

Making up for the lackluster Far From Home in a major way, No Way Home packs an awful lot of stuff into 148 minutes: Spidey teams up with Doctor Strange and two other Spideys to defeat three former foes resurrected from alternate universes. Of course, the story is hokey and the action is frenetic, as per usual for such fare, but Jon Watts manages to keep things under control and make sense of all the nonsense. Certainly the fans agreed, forking over nearly $2 billion—during a pandemic no less. An impressive swan song for Mr. Holland's version of Spidey, and the hands-down best film of the franchise.

DKS 5/13/22

GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:

Smells Like Roses!

 

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