Fantastic Four
2005, Constantin Film et al
If one superhero is good, then four should be great, right? Unfortunately things didn't work out that way for the first big-budget rendering of this Marvel property. Ioan Gruffudd was (woefully) miscast, Jessica Alba was (amazingly) forgettable, Michael Chiklis was (coincidentally) as talented as a rock, and Chris Evans—who was terrific as Captain America—was (alarmingly) over-the-top. A thin script in the hands of an inept director spelled Doctor Doom for this dreary excuse for a summer superhero blockbuster.
DKS 12/17/17
GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
2007, Constantin Film et al
After the dismal reception of the first film, the only reason a sequel was green-lighted was because the studio had earned $200 million in profit. Yeah, I was surprised, too. Nothing much to say other than this one offers more of precisely the same: juvenile script and vapid performances wrapped in half-decent special effects—all surface and no substance.
DKS 12/17/17
GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating:
Fantastic Four
2015, Marvel Entertainment et al
One might have thought Marvel would have corrected a grave mistake for the good of the franchise; they certainly had the ability and resources to set things right, given their track record. Instead, they succumbed to the "Fantastic Four Curse": their reboot was actually worse than the 2005 bomb! Worse casting, worse acting, and a godawful script that no amount of CGI could rescue—honestly, watching paint dry is more exciting. With a 9% Rotten tomatoes rating, FF was winner of the Golden Raspberry Awards' Worst Director, Worst Picture, and Worst Prequel, Remake, Rip-Off or Sequel; also nominated for Worst Screenplay and Worst Screen Combo. Quite the black eye for a studio that has been cranking out hits hand over fist; it must be a terrible feeling to see all of that time and effort, and (especially) all of those millions, getting flushed down the drain.
DKS 12/17/17
GRUMPY OLD FART-O-METER® Rating: