Not Good Enough

05 NOVEMBER 2010

It's a good thing I'm drawn toward abandonment and decay. Why I'm drawn to them is a subject for another day; this is about why it happens to be advantageous. From a modeling perspective, it allows me to hide a lot of my model's flaws. I've known this for quite some time, but I was reminded of it in a major way whilst scratchbuilding an abandoned factory for my James River Branch. Indeed, if it was supposed to represent a new or recently-erected factory, I might not have been able to do it. I'm just not that good a modeler.

Some regular readers might be tempted to console me with assurances such as, "You're being too hard on yourself," or, "You're better than any modeler I know." While such sentiments are appreciated, I must judge my abilities against myself, not anyone else, and my conclusion is that I still have considerable room for improvement; I must continue to develop my skills.

The tipping point came as I was installing a brick panel on the factory. I was holding it in place with my finger and applying CA to the back where it met the superstructure. Alas, the CA seeped under my finger, which of course became bonded to the front of the building. As I pulled my finger off, along with it came the paint on the brick panel, while my fingerprint remained indelibly embedded on the concrete column.

Sure, it was just a simple mistake, but that's not the point. The point is this was one of dozens of blunders—one of the more innocuous at that. If it weren't for the fact that the factory I'm modeling is in a state of considerable decay, I simply could not have produced a satisfactory model, let alone a really good one (thankfully it will reside at the back of the layout). I have quite a long way to go before I'd consider myself a "good" modeler.

I have proof. My intent at the outset of this project was to model the factory in "pristine" condition, and then "age" it. But as I progressed through each phase of the project, I found myself covering up more and more errors with weathering and decay ahead of time. Sure, the model will probably look halfway decent when it's done—it'll be well-aged, at least—but I won't feel like a better modeler for it.

It's quite simple, really: I just need to do more modeling. A lot more. I need to practice, practice, practice. Unfortunately, practice takes time, and that's not something I have in abundance. I just hope that I'm able to become a better modeler before I'm not able to model anymore.

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