My Future in Model Railroading
Unfortunately I've just received a diagnosis of congestive heart failure. Worse, it's quite advanced. I've no idea how many years I have left, but it's not many. Like maybe one or two at most.
Part of me wishes I didn't know. I'd prefer to live my life in blissful ignorance of my future—my days would be much happier and more productive, whereas knowing what I know now, I'll live each day with a sense of dread: I could keel over at any moment.
But the symptoms of CHF are impossible to ignore: acute shortness of breath, debilitating fatigue, chest pain, chronic cough, irregular heartbeat, lung noise, difficulty sleeping and so on. Thus, there's no denying something is very wrong.
Now I'm faced with some new decisions to make. Aside from getting my affairs in order (which, for the most part, already are), what do I do? Sit around and wait for the inevitable?
Or, more particularly, what do I do about my hobby? I've already drawn up detailed plans for my "forever layout." I've estimated it will take ten to fifteen years to reach the 90% mark, but since I don't have that much time left, do I even start it?
Because I have a competing challenge: finishing the house. I estimate that will take at least five years, now that my physical capabilities have been significantly curtailed. But one thing is certain: I cannot have both a finished house and a mostly-finished layout, and more than likely neither. So, which do I choose? Or, do I pursue a third course?
These are questions I'd not expected to be asking at 65.
—DKS, 20 February 2020