1. The Nowhere Man
Some may wonder why I'd be willing to settle in a mobile home retirement community (a.k.a. a place where old people go to die) after having lived for years on a large, gorgeous, unique, highly desirable, secluded property. Obviously I designed my home unaware that terminal heart disease would befall me; unfinished and full of stairs, it had become too much of a physical and financial burden to carry any longer. I'd never be able to finish it, taxes were outpacing my meager fixed income, and at some point one or the other would probably kill me. I simply had to lighten the load.
Of course, once again my timing could not have been worse: the housing market had gone utterly bonkers, and the only thing I could afford was a mobile home. Anyway, I've increasingly become an indoor person (I regret to admit), so the aesthetics of a mobile home park were of little consequence; I live on the inside, after all, and as long as the neighborhood is safe, I was fine with it. I would probably become that "old, creepy-looking recluse we hardly ever see who lives over there..."
Yes, I've often said that my life goal has always been "to live where I can neither see nor be seen by anyone else"; as it happens, being tucked away inside a trailer in some anonymous trailer park isn't much different from living in the middle of seven acres of woods: as I sit at my computer desk typing this, I cannot see anyone else, and no one else can see me. And in my mind I'm living somewhere in an endless expanse of wilderness on a mountainside in New Hampshire. Oh yes, there's definitely some Jeremiah Johnson in me.
Of course I regret having to do this. Of course I'll miss my home and its sublime setting. That I was able to do what I did was completely unexpected and absolutely glorious. I'll have no end of awesome memories—aided by literally tens of thousands of photo and videos—to carry me peacefully to my grave, wherever I happen to be living at the time. Just think of me as having already passed... for I've wandered off into the great void, forever lost amidst a sea of self-replicating protoplasm in the taint of humanity.
