David on Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda

Named so as to remind everyone of its origins (as had Earth: Final Conflict), Andromeda was yet another Roddenberry property brought to life by his widow, Majel Barrett. While it stars (and was executive-produced by) the charismatic Kevin Sorbo of Hercules fame, given its silly premise, derivative writing, lame acting and cheesy production values, Andromeda defies all logic that it managed to survive five whole seasons.

Every episode can be summed up as a variation on a common collection of painfully predictable elements: Big-Boobed Babe of the Week, Big Burly Fistfight of the Week, Grunting Über-Violent Aliens of the Week, Ridiculous Engineering Miracle of the Week, Digitally Distorted Voice of the Week, and the Really Hokey CGI Effects of the Week, all capped by the Brooding Captain's Pseudo-Philosophical Musings of the Week.

Lofty, literate-sounding quotes from futuristic fictional sources launch each episode, contrasting markedly with the utter nonsense to follow. Some of the episodes were so bad that I literally rolled my eyes as I watched. More than a few times I fell asleep, later re-watching the missed bits just so I could claim I'd succeeded in struggling through every minute the whole dreary series. I'm not entirely certain why I bothered.

SH!T BAD MEH 1/2-DECENT GOOD F!NG-AWESOME

Andromeda avoids being SH!T solely due to Kevin Sorbo's mildly enjoyable presence.

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