Blog Archive: Week of 25 August 2024
7 September 2024. Interesting how the disease progresses in stages. I'll reach some point where I'm in a particular condition for some time—weeks, it seems—with no change. Then suddenly, I'll wake up one morning and feel as if I was run over by a truck during the night. Today I have debilitating fatigue and unusually persistent dizziness; I can just about function, staggering around like a drunken sailor. I guess this is my "new normal" for a while. Whatever; I have my hobbies to keep my mind occupied: my little train layout, and my stupid cartoons. But first I need a nap. It seems all I want to do these days is sleep. To sleep, and sleep more.
6 September 2024. Okay, make that three times. Every other day just disappears on me. Oh well, it's not like this is a job where I might get docked for not showing up to work. Hey, I was busy working on my model trains, and if I wasn't doing that, I was working on animation. Better than just sitting around and picking lint out of my navel, I should think. Today's image features some greenery—a first (upper right corner).
5 September 2024. It's happened twice now. I've lost a day. Clearly there are some neurons misfiring, as I've woken up on a Tuesday convinced it was a Monday. This is the second time in a week; the previous time, one of my helpers "surprised" me by showing up "unexpectedly." Would love to know where these days are going, because it might solve some longstanding mysteries about black holes or other such phenomena. Incidentally, the above object is a road bridge that I built by hand. First time in a long time, and likely last time ever.
4 September 2024. It's happened twice now. I've lost a day. Clearly there are some neurons misfiring, as I've woken up on a Tuesday convinced it was a Monday. This is the second time in a week; the previous time, one of my helpers "surprised" me by showing up "unexpectedly." Would love to know where these days are going, because it might solve some longstanding mysteries about black holes or other such phenomena. (You will note the lack of an image for 3 September: I've no idea where it went or if it even existed.)
3 September 2024. Ugh. Labor Day, harbinger of the back to school ritual. Even after months of couch time, the season was fraught with messy panic attacks, complete loss of appetite, insomnia, and all manner of unpleasant shit. I know a lot of kids had it way worse than me, but it was bad enough that I still suffer the ghostly remnants to this day. And just to pile on the strangeness, my father refused to believe that therapy did anyone any good, so I had to play my own way. We had the most poorly trained cats in the east, and all seven of them had a fetish for mouse-sized objects. Well, the day none of this bothers me anymore is the day I get to have coffee with Carl Sagan. (To be sure, I have no clue whatsoever what any of this means.)
2 September 2024. Very few know about it. Even fewer like it. But my best friend loves the show, and has talked me into going back to work on Lightspeed Drifting. Got two episodes in the works right now, and interestingly they are now my two favorites. Eventually they'll show up online. What can I say? It's something to do.
1 September 2024. Spent some quality time with my nurse discussing options when my health takes a major turn for the worse. It is good to know that I have options outside of merely getting doped up or suffering.
31 August 2024. With the help of some friends, the layout continues to grow. One friend built the throttle for it, and also supplied the rolling stock. Another friend is donating the scenery materials. It's intriguing to see the interest my silly little project generates.
30 August 2024. One of my favorite photos of Zack, taken by Cody Fisher on 10 August 2021, at my house in the woods. It's nice to be reminded of better times.
29 August 2024. I think my body is trying to tell me something. Yesterday around noon I suffered a mini-stroke. I've had them before throughout my adult life, and usually they clear up on their own within a few minutes or at most a few hours, and then its business as usual. Except this one didn't clear up, and now I'm half-deaf in my left ear and also quite unsteady on my feet. I'm still up and at it, but I can't help but feel a warning shot has been fired across my bow. Thing is, I've no idea what to do about it, other than carry on per normal. So, that's where I'm at. I've posted one of my favorite New Hampshire images to calm me down, as I'm a bit on edge right now.
28 August 2024. So here's a turnaround from yesterday. Kitties are always good for the soul. I don't know what I'd do without mine.
27 August 2024. Warning: exceedingly depressing post ahead. Recommend going here instead for something light and fun. No? Feeling masochistic today? Alrighty then. Here we see a giant middle finger being raised by selfish, ignorant, greedy men and directed at Mother Nature, on whom we all depend for our very lives. Thus, it's a gesture of contempt as mankind blindly pursues the homicide of his home world, which ultimately translates to mass suicide. Sorry folks, I imagine you're all thinking I need to be on some happy pills or maybe even in a straight jacket because, truth told, this is an unnecessarily dark way to look at things. But can anyone honestly find joy and happiness in this scene? Seriously, if this image does not make you angry and/or sad, you are not aware. And what makes it all so much worse is that there's nothing anyone can do about it. The crime has been committed; Planet Earth is mortally wounded. We just get to watch her death play out in extreme slow motion over the next few centuries. See, told you you should have followed the link...
26 August 2024. It's a good thing I don't entertain anymore. Not long ago I used to have scads of dinner parties—on average, two to three a week. Now? My only guests are the nurses from the hospice, and a couple of friends who stop in once in a while to check on me and help with stuff around the house. Good thing I have cats, or I'd go crazy.
25 August 2024. Welcome to my world. I've never been keen on taking drugs, but this is how I get through the day now, in relative comfort and relatively pain-free, albeit kinda dopey. Note that they are not extending my life; they are merely making what's left of it as pleasant as possible. That's what hospice is all about.
24 August 2024. When I moved here, this was just a big patch of sand. Now the developers have climbed into the sandbox and begun work on two new buildings (each of which has 18 units). A friend who saw this photo remarked that those new buildings seemed awfully close to my home. Imagine his surprise when I said those are the distant buildings; two more will be built in between them and my shed in the foreground. Another friend wondered who would want to live somewhere with an up-close-and-personal view of the trailer park's backside? I said, well, several other buildings that are mere feet from my neighbors' trailers are all sold out already, so evidently the view is of no consequence. As they say, no accounting for taste.
23 August 2024. Wait, what fresh hell is this? Well, back in October 2023 when I stopped making regular posts, some of my friends grumbled. And then, when a few regulars learned that I'd recently returned to my favorite hobby, I heard even more grumbling. So, here I am back with regular posts. Maybe. We'll see. At any rate, here are my ever-helpful grandkids making sure I'm doing it right. You can learn all about that little train layout here. And to answer the inevitable question of how am I doing, let's just say this post stands as proof I'm still breathing. More than that, I'm not inclined to discuss. Indeed, I returned to modeling specifically to keep my mind off of that topic as much as humanly possible.