Blog Archive: Week of 17 January 2021
Saturday, 23 January 2021
It's quite disconcerting: I can feel my life inexorably
ebbing away. I'm conferring with friends to make sure everyone knows exactly what to do and when; some are not liking the process, but it
is necessary. In any case, all of my i's are dotted and t's are crossed, so there shouldn't be any issues when the time comes. I'm not frightened
of death in the slightest, but I am admittedly a little anxious about the experience—after all, it's not something I can do over. Lately I've been listening to Steve
Roach's The Magnificent Void
quite a lot, not because I expect the experience to be anything like Roach's truly otherworldly soundscape, but because the music and
especially the title captivate me.
Friday, 22 January 2021
Still here. No better.
Thursday, 21 January 2021
The pain and fatigue continue—if anything, they're getting worse. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm still alive after the way I felt yesterday. Well-meaning friends have insisted I call my doctor, but I know exactly what would happen. I've been through it twice before, and there's little to gain because meds can only do so much at this stage, and I refuse to pursue the remaining options (super-costly, super-invasive surgery for which I'm ineligible anyway). I'm tempted to say the end might be near, but there's no way to be certain of anything. If this is my time, so be it; that's fine by me. If not, then there's probably a lot more griping to come!
Wednesday, 20 January 2021
The past couple of days have not been good. I'm suffering from a period of negative energy and systemic pain—a lot like a very bad bout of Sarcoidosis. Maybe it's that, or maybe it's my heart, I don't know. But the pain and lack of energy are also taking a toll on my head as well. BTW, what in the hell is the image? A reflection of a sunrise in a window.
Tuesday, 19 January 2021
Yesterday's post sure got people thinking—I've never received so much "fan mail." Thankfully it was all in support of my views.
Monday, 18 January 2021
I am scared. Yesterday I had a close encounter with a far-faaar-right-wingnut. I was so upset by it that I began to shake and experience chest pains. These people are so delusional, so utterly lost in their own twisted universes that it's deeply disturbing to think they believe the nonsense they spew—and believe it so intensely that they present a very real threat to society as a whole. How did we get like this? Did we always have such laughably gullible yet genuinely dangerous people living amongst us?
I know I've sworn never to speak of politics, but I don't care any more. Our country is riddled with a cancer, and our soon-to-be-former President has allowed that cancer not only to fester but to threaten us with grave harm. The wingnut I encountered openly declared that he wanted to slaughter anyone who didn't agree with him. And I knew he had guns. So I knew to be fearful, and to say nothing to contradict him, even though everything he said was totally false. (He fervently believes in Pizzagate, for instance.)
Unfortunately there's no getting these people to see reason. They're like flat-earthers: the more factual information you offer them, the more obstinate they become. And since there's no humane way of ridding ourselves of them, we're stuck living with this deadly plague of ignorance. Worse, many of them believe the Corona vaccine is a plot by the government to poison and kill citizens, so they're consciously making themselves super-spreaders. The old joke applies now more than ever: there's no cure for stupid.
This is why I live as far away from people as practical. And it's why I avoid interacting with people as much as possible, because you never know which ones are dangerous. Not long ago, I didn't fear those harboring different ideologies; we could discuss them calmly like rational beings. Now things are alarmingly different. If we were to be judged as a species, I'd say we're not worth saving; our treatment of one another, and especially of the planet on which we live, stands as proof we're bereft of redeeming qualities.
Increasingly I find myself wishing I was a cat: they're far more intelligent and sensible than the vast majority of so-called human beings.
Sunday, 17 January 2021
Nearly all of my beautiful "sunset" images lately are actually sunrises. For reasons unknown, lately sunrises have consistently been much more remarkable than sunsets.