Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda

2000-2005, Tribune Entertainment et al

Named so as to remind everyone of its origins, as had Earth: Final Conflict, Andromeda was yet another Roddenberry property brought to life by his widow, Majel Barrett. While it stars (and was executive-produced by) the charismatic Kevin Sorbo of Hercules fame, given its derivative premise, dismal writing, lame acting and cheesy production values, Andromeda defies all logic that it managed to survive five whole seasons.

The lofty-sounding quotes from fictional futuristic literature preceding each installment create the false expectation that the nonsense to follow might in any way be comparably intelligent. Every episode can be summed up as a variation on a common collection of predictable elements: Big-Boobed Babe of the Week, Big Burly Brawl of the Week, Grunting Über-Violent Aliens of the Week, Ridiculous Technological Miracle of the Week, Digitally Distorted Voice of the Week, and the Really Hokey CGI Effects of the Week, all capped by the Brooding Captain's Pseudo-Philosophical Musings of the Week.

Some of the episodes were so bad that I literally rolled my eyes as I watched. More than a few times I fell asleep, later re-watching the missed bits just so I could claim I'd succeeded in struggling through every minute the whole dreary series—I'm not entirely certain why I bothered. The only thing saving it from being CRAP is Kevin Sorbo's mildly entertaining presence.

 

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CRAP

MEH

WOW

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