David on Prometheus

I'm sorry, I don't care if he did make some of the finest films everówith Prometheus, Ridley Scott dropped a massive turd. His return to the Alien franchise was highly anticipated; everyone waited breathlessly for his next masterwork. Oops...

That it remains even somewhat polarizing (meaning it has some fans) is a pure mystery, and proof there's no accounting for taste. Whereas Alien totally worked as a crossover between sci-fi and horror, Prometheus failed at every turn, and Scott only dug his hole deeper when he insisted it wasn't a remake. In reality the two films follow along nearly in lockstep: Spaceship is drawn to mysterious planet by mysterious message, check. Corrupt corporation is pulling the strings, check. Evil android is on board, check. Crew discovers face-hugging, body-bursting aliens, check. Crew is picked off one by one, check. Strong female is sole surviving human, check. Surfeit of blood and gore, check. Alien fans simply had to have been disappointed there was nothing new.

There was a slim chance this POS might have redeemed itself, until the moment the female lead started running away from an enormous rolling object along its trajectory, instead of at right angles to it. That for me was an inexcusable brain fart to end all brain farts. Truly awesome visual effects couldn't save this 100-megaton brown bomb.

SH!T BAD MEH 1/2-DECENT GOOD F!NG-AWESOME

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