David on Jupiter Ascending

One might have thought, based on the acclaim bestowed upon The Matrix alone, the Wachowski brothers/sisters (I won't go there) could walk on water. But their release of Jupiter Ascending almost literally drowned them, if only in bad press. I honestly can't imagine any studio offering them money to make something after seeing this utter bomb.

If one struggles through it (perhaps aided by some magic mushrooms?), one can maybe sorta vaguely catch faint glimpses of what they were trying to accomplish... or not. Regardless, the wildly incoherent result—a serious understatement, I hasten to add—suggests everyone involved in making it must have partaken in too many magic mushrooms. Human/bee hybrids? Seriously, WTF?

The only thing saving it from being utter SH!T? Stunning visuals. But alas, effects alone do not a GOOD film make—or even a MEH film, for that matter. If you're a JA virgin and are tempted to watch it, consider muting the sound and just enjoying the pretty light show.

SH!T BAD MEH 1/2-DECENT GOOD F!NG-AWESOME

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