David on Alien Covenant

Once again, the great Ridley Scott delivered a major disappointment, although to be fair, it was very slightly better than his turd called Prometheus.

Long, brooding shots of actors supposedly ruminating on deep philosophical conundrums predicate yet another entirely shock-free Alien clone. Spaceship is drawn to mysterious planet by mysterious message, check. Evil android is on board, check. Crew discovers face-hugging, body-bursting aliens, check. Crew is picked off one by one, check. Strong female survives, check. Surfeit of blood and gore, check.

When is Scott going to come up with something new? It is, after all, a very old franchise; one might think there'd be room for improvement. In the making-of documentary, everyone practically creams their jeans as they go out of their way to shower Scott with praise, as if he's the second coming of Christ. I guess I didn't get the memo.

The only thing that saves this exploding retread from a SH!T score, aside from great visuals, is that two humans survive at the end, instead of just the one strong female. Wow! Didn't see that one coming... /sarcasm


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